getting better...

Well, my little dark angel RoZee seems to be getting better. Thank you Lord! I am hoping that she will continue to get better and that her 'illness' was just another object lesson in, not worrying!

no answers yet

Back from the vet the good news RoZee came home with us, the bad news, $197 vet bill for sedation and x-rays and he has no idea what's wrong with my baby. We now play wait and see... could be a middle ear infection, could get better on it's own, could get lots worse with more symptoms... ugh!

Lord I know you are in control of all things and I will grow Faith flowers and not worry weeds ~ but could we space the trials out just a bit??? I know Your timing is perfect. I am just tired.

James 1 alive and well

'Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.'



Randy called on his way to lay off three of his guys. He will be working the Edmonds job as the Foreman now, no more PM. But, for how long Lord? I will not worry, because You know.



RoZee has something very wrong with her. It started with her eye and now she cannot chew or close her mouth. I am going to take her to the vet when Randy gets home, but I am frightened about what the vet will have to say. But you know Lord, I will trust you.



Love is painful sometimes. But to not feel the pain, means not to feel the love either. Lord I thank you for your truth and the places you are taking us.



It is scary Lord, but I will walk with you.

I am struggling right now.

I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I am all alone. There is no one to take care of me, ask how I am doing, do I need anything. what can they do to help? A life full of demanding 'children' and no one to hear them and respond but me. I get so tired and want to just rest and relax, but I can't get there from here. Because I can't turn off the 'children', mommy mommy mommy, need, need, need, now, now, now! I feel like what about how I feel? Doesn't anyone care? Little things like, you know how much work goes into that lovely dinner you just wolfed down? The buying the food, what's on sale? storing the food, when are we going to use it? planning the meal, what do we have? what do we need? does it need to marinate? clean the dishes to start the cooking, chopping, dicing, mincing, measuring stirring, roasting, basting, boiling, reducing, plating, clear the table of daily whatnots, set the table for dinner, serve the meal, pray, then watch as everyone eats it in 2 minutes and leaves, sit alone finishing my meal, to then it's clear the table of dinner and dishes, put away the leftovers for lunches tomorrow, feed the dogs, load the dishwasher, wash the pots and pans, wipe the counters, sweep the floor... There is always something more that needs to be done, crying out for attention. Do the laundry, pick up dog poop, feed the doves, clean the cage, vacuum the floors, bissell the carpets, clean out that dresser, closet, garage... iron that shirt, mend those pants, oh there's that quilt I started 2 years ago... change the sheets, scrub the toilet, grout the tub, the kitchen needs new paint, cabinets, counter top, dishwasher... From the littlest- pay the bills to the biggest- we need to rebuild the deck, they all clamor in my mind for attention. They never stop and they never politely wait their turn either! Each shouting now, to be heard first and be dealt with...

~~~Deep Breath~Big Sigh~~~

Oh Lord, how do I stay focused on you when I get so lost? Sucked in the mire of 'PoorOverwhelmedME Bog'?

Thank you Lord, that You who began a good work in me, will be faithful to complete it!

musings...

Great are the joys found in little things.

I find it is so easy to be lured into discouragement. To feel like my prayers are not being heard... to feel like I am not making a difference... to feel insignificant...

But the truth is there is a victory won in each small step! Every moment we stand in the face of the enemy and say, 'No, I will not believe your lies!", is another step toward becoming more like who we are in Christ. It takes courage to pray into a void, believing even when you don't feel it. Choose this day, hour, minute, who you will serve.... falling forward is better than a step back.

Findings my smiles in little RoZee's funny puppy face and in little Annie's contentment, curled up, sleeping on the seat of my big soft comfy recliner.

and the rains came...

Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it.

We prayed for life to be the epic adventure we believe it could be... should be... is!

Since then it has been, but not as we thought it would be. God is taking us down the bumpy road full of pot holes and glass shards, closer to him. Stripping away the trappings of this world and what we thought was important. Much like the debris littered along the Oregon Trail, a box here, a piano there, to lighten the load or not make it. Our ability to 'pull up our bootstraps' or the illusion that we can just do it ourselves is being scraped from our being. Through these circumstances we are taught the ways of grace...

Oh Lord, how we need you every minute of everyday!