Christmas is almost here. Before, it was always my favorite time of year. Today, it is something to get through.
In September we lost our 7 month old Grandson Jeremiah. In November I lost my ability to walk and sleep. I am in constant pain. The tears are always there just behind the eyes or shamelessly flowing. I don't go out much. It hurts too much and makes others uncomfortable. Even at church, people don't know how to handle me, so I don't go. I am trying so hard to hold on to faith. To tell myself that the Truth is true, regardless of how I feel. Because how I feel is a darkness I have never know before. So many emotions grief, sadness, anger, fear... all so raw and feeling so alone. I am walking through the Valley of the Shadow... Lord please hold me, let me know that You are with me, because it is so dark I can not see.
