Battle

Some days '... the ring is so heavy'.

It's starts with the overnight potty patrol, every 2 hours, gotta go, gotta go... Which is uncomfortable but, Oh well?! It's the agony of getting my leg out of bed and then that first step... will it hold? Then the shooting pain! Ugh! During the day it's manageable but at midnight? 2am? 4am? Not so much. Sometimes I feel like my body is just a tool for the enemy to poke at, and he is using a rather large, very sharp stick!

Today, after the final wake up, we have the wanting to exercise and not being able too, the heartburn from the anti-inflammatory meds, the trying to modify my list of the daily chores, realizing that today the stairs will be an issue and how to minimize the trips up and down...

and so it goes.... the battle... the burden...

But I realize that the true battle is for my heart, for the heart is central, and for my perspective, what do I believe? Will I walk? or will I give up and give in. The voices in my head at war with what my Spirit knows is truth. or does it? Faith and courage to stand when the doubts creep in? Is that the sprouting of a root of bitterness? Where is my heart? I am such a weak creature always longing for comfort and rest, I pray for deliverance from the enemy's relentless taunting, but even as the thought comes, I pray that Your will be done Lord, not mine. For better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere. That I may have Your strength through Jesus to stand and continue to walk with You. That is where the true victory lies, not in the life but in the living, that You may be glorified at all times!