Another Journey and it starts with make up?

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.  ~Amelia Earhart

So here I am...  fifty~something, two~ninety~something, and unable to walk any more without help of a walker and even then not very far. For very far, more than fifty feet, we need the wheelchair. Of course I painted the back of the wheelchair so if looks more 'like me'. But I sure miss Dancing and Zumba. It all seems so long ago. Looking on this blog I can see it's been 5 years in the making this demise of mine. But that is then, that is the Here We Are, This Is The Starting Point.... because,
I want a do over!

Okay maybe I can't have a do over but I can have a Make Over.  For the next 30 days I am going to put on make up, It may only be lip stick to start with as I need to buy some more make up because its been so long since I have worn it. But I have read that putting on make up or dressing up when you are depressed can help you get out of the pit.  And the Lord knows I am well acquainted with that pit!So I will put on make up, take my picture and post here a few lines about life and my feelings at this moment....

Day 1

Okay well, my feelings at this moment is I am nervous and scared about what I might find out,  that there is no more else, this is it. My thoughts at the moment are 'What the hell are you thinking?" and 'Hey I forgot how much I like this lipstick stuff!"  The hardest part is being honest. Looking at myself in this picture. I don't usually look at myself anymore. I used to when I danced. I looked in the mirror all the time. I realized putting the lipstick on, that I have been avoiding mirrors, avoiding looking at myself. I don't take many selfies anymore and when I do its because I want proof I made it out of the house. Like I took a selfie of my husband and me in Leavenworth last October, photographic proof I can pull out when my 'Negative Nancy" starts in on how we never go out anywhere.  I don't like looking at myself in this picture. All I see is guilt and condemnation in this picture. All I see is what is wrong with me. Isn't it funny how we will think horrible vicious things about ourselves that we would never dare think about another person? or maybe it's just me....